Making Marriage Easier & Reclaiming Real Life: Insights from Arlene Pellicane
Part of The Abundant Faith Team
On a recent episode of The Morning Break, hosts Rob and Vivian sat down with renowned author, speaker, and podcaster Arlene Pellicane. Working to strengthen families since 2010, Arlene is a trusted voice who has appeared on Fox News and the 700 Club. She brings a wealth of practical, faith-based wisdom to two of the most critical areas of our lives: our marriages and our children’s relationship with technology.
Whether you are a newlywed or celebrating five decades together, Arlene’s candid advice offers a refreshing roadmap to not just loving your spouse, but genuinely liking them.
How to Love and Like Your Spouse for Life
It is easy to love the person you married, but on a day-to-day basis, differences can cause friction. Quirks that were endearing while dating can suddenly become annoying. In her book, Making Marriage Easier: How to Love and Like Your Spouse for Life, Arlene explains that a great marriage doesn’t just happen by accident—it can be reverse-engineered through intentional choices.
She outlines four key marriage decisions that are completely independent of how you might be feeling on a given day:
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Play by the rules: Just like soccer would be chaotic if the goal kept moving, marriages need boundaries to thrive. Follow biblical principles first, and establish family rules—such as always speaking well of your spouse in public.
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Give thanks every day: You were incredibly grateful on your wedding day. Intentionally maintain that posture of gratitude rather than focusing on what your partner lacks.
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Serve your spouse: This isn’t about losing your identity or becoming a doormat. It is about adopting an attitude of, “How can I help make your life better today?” Expecting constant service leads to endless disappointment; choosing to serve creates endless opportunities for connection.
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Take fun seriously: Fun should not be reserved only for expensive vacations. Ask yourself when you last had genuine fun together. If you can’t remember, it is time to watch a funny video, pull a harmless prank, or turn a mundane grocery store trip into a date.
Managing Unrealistic Expectations
Arlene points out that many couples enter marriage carrying the heavy baggage of unrealistic expectations. If you were deeply discontent while single, getting married won’t magically fix that. True contentment—as the Apostle Paul writes—comes from resting in the Lord, regardless of your circumstances.
When two whole people come together, they can stop demanding that their spouse fulfill their every need. This shift in perspective makes it much easier to communicate openly about unmet expectations, such as recognizing when a spouse is showing love through acts of service rather than words of affirmation.
The Great Tech Reset: Protecting Our Kids
Beyond marriage, Rob and Vivian dove into a topic that affects nearly every modern household: screen time. Arlene, alongside Dr. Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages), has co-authored several books tackling the digital epidemic stealing our children’s attention.
Arlene warns that a smartphone is not a neutral device. Giving a child unrestricted access to a smartphone is like handing them a giant, Costco-sized bag of M&Ms and telling them to only eat ten. The content is predictably addictive and designed to rewire their developing brains.
Arlene’s “Trifecta” for Reclaiming Childhood: To foster rich relationships, deep faith, and real-world skills, Arlene’s family adopted a counter-cultural but highly effective approach through high school:
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No Video Games
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No Social Media
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No Smartphones
And it works. Arlene is living proof—her three children have grown up without smartphones and social media, developing deep attention spans, engaging in real-world hobbies, and building rich, in-person relationships. By delaying personal devices, parents can take charge of their home environment, replacing digital consumption with real life.
Arlene Pellicane’s Resource Library
For more wisdom on these topics, check out Arlene’s recommended resources:
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Making Marriage Easier (Book): Four practical, daily decisions to help you truly enjoy your spouse’s company for life.
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Screen Kids (Book & Film): Co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, this resource teaches you how to limit technology so your children can develop essential relational skills. Also available as a film and online course!
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The Great Tech Reset (Book): A guide for Christian families to reclaim their homes from addictive devices by delaying tech.
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Parents Rising (Book): An additional resource focused on building strong, disciplined, and joyful families.
Get a Free Resource Today: Want to evaluate your own home’s digital habits? Visit arlenepellicane.com to download her free checklist: “7 Warning Signs of Screen Overuse.”
Listen to The Happy Home Podcast: Operating on the motto “No fluff, just fun!” Arlene interviews top experts to help you grow in maturity. As she puts it, the show is designed to make marriage and parenting “easier (not easy, but EASIER!).” Available wherever you stream your podcasts.
